Memories of Dopamine

There’s an interesting stage with bad habits where I don’t really have a desire to do the bad habit, but I do it anyway.

I might be in an emotional lull and I’m trying to find a route out of it. I think of junk food, or alcohol or porn and there’s no dopamine response. None. But I want out of this lull and so I try to force it. I remind myself that the junk food, the alcohol, the porn used to make me feel good and so I force it. I tell myself it will be great just like it used to be. Just like the good old days.