I Live in Other People’s Environments

I recently attended a work Christmas party organised by my boss. It wasn’t a general party open to everyone at work. My boss had hand-picked a select group of staff. I was invited by virtue of being one of his underlings. With myself as the only exception, everyone at the party was very similar to my boss. They were all white, male and sixty plus. They were all geeks. They all enjoyed talking about politics, and work, and investments, and conspiracy theories, and the pros and cons of different shed designs, and the various methods one can heat a house. None of these topics remotely interest me. Perhaps I am still to grow up.

I enjoyed the party… to a point. Good wine (apparently, as I don’t drink wine), good food, and all the guests were in superlative geeky form. I enjoyed it but I wasn’t in full flow. I wasn’t immersed in the atmosphere. I was ever so slightly distant. As I looked across at my boss I noticed that he was in his element. Of course he was. He had created it.

Most of my life I either spend alone or in Other People’s Environments. I love football and travel and fitness and writing and mindfulness, but it is rare that I am around people with similar interests. The few occasions when I find myself around such people the buzz, the flow, the immersion is intoxicating. When I’m hanging around with the geeks everything feels just a little bit stilted.

I think I need to take a leaf out my boss’s book and develop my environment so that I get to spend more time with people who share similar interests to me. As the party organiser my boss got to invite the guests he wanted. I should become the ‘party organiser’ of my life. Similarly, I shouldn’t wait to be invited to parties that I might not want to attend, I should invite myself to the parties I do want to attend. I should join clubs and groups with whom I share common interests.